Life Changes

Life can take unexpected turns, leaving us feeling anxious, defeated, and unsure of the future. Some of these changes are decisions we make, while others may be completely out of our control. Whether it’s losing a job, ending a relationship, transitioning from school to work, or losing a loved one, significant life changes can bring about feelings of depression and anxiety. These emotions are often not the result of an internal mental health condition but rather a natural response to painful events.

In therapy, we will work together to navigate these challenges by identifying the strengths you’ve relied on in the past while finding new ways to face current obstacles. Our goal is to equip you with tools and perspectives to regain control of your life and build resilience for future challenges.

These changes may initially seem insurmountable, but we can use these experiences to grow and come out on the other side with a renewed sense of confidence. By addressing these issues head-on, you can find your way back to a fulfilling life, bringing with you valuable tools for any challenges the future may bring. Let’s take a look at some of the more common changes people face.

Work Stress

Unfortunately for most of us, work takes up nearly a third of our life and half of our waking life. There’s no question that a bad working environment can cause unnecessary stress not only at the job, but also bleed into our personal lives. Bad bosses, unfriendly coworkers, difficult clients; they can erode our confidence and self of belongingness. This can lead to isolation, shame, social anxiety and fear. On top of all that we have deadlines, disorganized working systems, bureaucracy and long hours to contend with. If you’ve noticed that your work is the cause of most of your stress in your life and you are sick of work destroying your personal life, you are not alone. We will work together to find ways to keep work at work, so you can enjoy a more fulfilling and meaningful life outside of it. We will also learn how to deal with difficult coworkers by improving our communication skills to set boundaries and stop taking crap from the bullies in your workplace.

On the other hand, you may be stressed because you’re in between work. It’s not a secret that the economy has not been in a good place the past few years and many people are out of work or between jobs. Losing a job can send us into a spiral, making us question our future, our ability and our worth. Applying to new jobs can be a daunting task that often feels like there is no end in sight. Or perhaps you are considering changing your career all-together. If you are currently in any of these situations, we can work together to help you build your confidence back and begin to tackle the things you have been procrastinating on.

Relationships

Relationships are at the core of almost every aspect of our life. Human beings are social creatures by nature and we crave connection. Relationships don’t just refer to our romantic life, but our friends and family as well. The nature of our relationships can often dictate how we feel about ourselves and our place in the world. Our early relationships often shape who we are and how we relate to others, which inevitably plays out in our present relationships. We will work together to uncover these relationship patterns that have existed throughout your life, and find where we can make changes to either strengthen the bonds of some relationships, or help you recognize what you feel is missing in others.

You may be in a state of conflict or uncertainty with an important relationship in your life, or you may be grieving the end of a relationship. Either scenario can be painful and anxiety inducing. If you’re struggling with conflict or uncertainty, we can work together to develop healthier conflict resolutions skills. Perhaps you and your partner have very different communication styles or needs. Or something has happened in your relationship that has currently created a massive divide, such as an affair. We can work together to help you sift through and make sense of these conflicting thoughts and emotions.

If you are currently in the midst of a breakup, divorce or other type of relationship ending situation, you may be overcome with fear, doubt, confusion, anger, sadness or numbness. It takes time for the body to adjust to such a drastic shift in your day – to – day life. Your body and mind are craving this connection with a person you may never see again. This is heartbreak. Heartbreak can often feel like you are withdrawing from a drug. You may be struggling with obsessive thoughts, loneliness and emptiness. This pain can cause difficulty in sleeping, decreased or increased appetite, difficulty concentrating at work or other tasks, and a whole host of other issues in your life. There’s no magic pill to overcoming heartbreak and the experience is unique to everyone. We will explore what this relationship meant to you and what it means to you that it is now over. What does it say about you? How has it shaped your sense of self or self worth? What does is mean about your future? Your mind is probably swirling endlessly with questions that you don’t have the answers to and are maybe too afraid to answer. Together we will explore these questions while we also learn how to manage our emotions, so you can live more fully in the moment and find hope in the future.

Loss and Grief

Loss can come in many different ways. We often associate loss with the death of a loved one, which certainly is loss, but loss can also include the loss of a job, the loss of a relationship, the loss of a home, or the loss of dream. You can probably insert anything at the end of “the loss of.” Loss relates to anything we once had but have no longer. Or even what we hoped to have but is no longer a potentiality. And with loss of course, comes grief. You may have heard of the 5 Stages of Grief:

• Denial: We may try to deny the reality of an experience in an attempt to numb our pain or gain a sense of control over the situation. We may even create a fantasy world with a different outcome in an attempt to avoid the horror of the reality. Example of denial look like: “this can’t be happening,” or “There must be a mistake.”
• Anger: We may develop intense feelings of anger towards ourself, others or the universe. Examples of grief related anger may look like: “Why is this happening to me?” “I can’t believe they would do that?!” or “Why is the world such a cruel place?”;
• Bargaining: In this phase we may attempt to make an agreement with a higher power or another person in order to “get back” what we lost. This may look like: "If I can fix this, things will be okay," or "I’ll do anything to make this not true."
• Depression: During this phase, we are hit with sadness and despair as the reality of the loss becomes unavoidable. This stage involves mourning what was lost and beginning to acknowledge the scope and finality of the loss. We may begin to feel hopeless and start isolating from family and friends.
• Acceptance: At this point we have finally come to accept the reality of the loss. We may still be in pain, but we can finally return to living our life again and looking forward to the future.

These phases and emotions do not necessarily occur in this order. They may also overlap at times. You may also feel emotions that are not on this list. For example, you may feel an odd sense of relief because the loss has at least given you an answer, but this relief can be shortly followed by guilt or anxiety. As you can see, the grieving process will look slightly differently for everyone. As we begin to explore your loss, we will learn to confront the feelings head on, and let them run their course without judgement. We may also have to battle any urges to try to numb or shut down the pain with avoidance tactics or unhealthy coping strategies, such as using alcohol or drugs. As we begin to embrace the pain of the loss, we will slowly work our way to embracing the reality of the loss. In time, the loss will become a memory of the past, rather than locked in your present.

I am a firm believer that therapy does not need to be permanent. For some, we are able to function well most of the time and find contentment in our day-to-day life until something upends it. Our goal in therapy is to simply get you back to a point where you feel you can live in the moment and are no longer held back by the recent change or loss.